Solitude is not Isolation

by Fred Schaeffer OFS

I was reading, the other day, in Fr. Thomas Dubay's beautiful book, "Prayer Primer" (2002, Charis), about Solitude. Sometimes I desire solitude, when I'm in data overload and I cannot find the "quiet" necessary to listen to Our Lord. Solitude is a beautiful thing, but it is not Isolation. A person who is totally alone, isn't necessarily enjoying a time of solitude. Solitude "is a time to be alone with the supreme Alone, and this is necessary for our personal growth.1" If we recall the Scripture where Jesus referred to: [Mat 6:6] "When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

Isolation is to reject everything else in the way of distraction from prayer. Fr. Dubay states, "Two people in love, real love, spontaneously desire, and with good reason, to be alone with each other. They have worthwhile things to share. A person growing in closeness to God increasingly seeks to be alone with him, often in a wordless presence-to-presence."

Seeking solitude is making room for a one-ness with the Lord. It is an interior need for relaxation and quietness, so that we may unwind and thus be able to share that moment with Jesus. How often one sees married people, mature married people in the same room. The husband is reading the paper, and the wife is busying herself with darning his socks. There isn't a word spoken between them, but they regard one another intimately in this very action, and so it is with Jesus, with whom we seek solitude and peace.

The depth of our prayer life will increase when we shut out distractions, or at least do the best we can. It is not necessary to use a key word (as in centering prayer), in fact, it is detrimental to do so. Perfect silence is desirable, and very often we cannot find that solitude, as we are too busy in our heads to quiet down that far. We are happy to give up what leads us away from God. The world will most likely ridicule us for wishing to seek this state of solitude. Let them talk. It is not relevant that they do not understand our zeal and our soul's desire for God's peace and togetherness.

In Solitude we are joyful, for we have none other than Jesus Christ in our midst. He is with us. He wishes great things for us. Most of all, he wants us to be with him in paradise when the time comes. Yes, we have a God who desires to be our friend and brother through Jesus His only Son.

"Egocentrism is a clear consequence of original sin." Pray to be freed of this selfish focusing on our own desires, preferences and pleasures. Be frugal in acquiring things that can take our attention away from Our Lord. Let us always look upon Jesus with adoration, and center our minds on the indwelling Trinity. But none of this is easy. It takes great amount of determination and personal discipline on our part, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to always look on Jesus as number One - and leave ourselves totally out of the power equation.

May Our Lord bless you and keep you, as you make progress in your time of solitude with the Lord.

Fred Schaeffer, OFS

2009, slightly revised and published 9/19/2020

(1) Fr. Thomas Dubay "Prayer Primer" (2002, Charis) 

Home