What does the Lord want of me?

A Reflection by Fred Schaeffer, OFS

He wants us to love Him with all our hearts. I discerned a Vocation to these Orders, in turn. I tried the Capuchin Franciscans (1959-60). I loved the Order but it didn’t work out. Why? My parents didn’t want me there because Dad was very sick (He died in 1961). Then many years later, the Franciscan OFMs (1996-97/98). It could have worked out but truth be told I felt I didn’t belong in that Province. Within a few months, I joined an order of Monks (1998-2002). I thought my answer was the Monks and I would have loved to still be there, but they did not have Canonical Approbation and it was unlikely they would receive it since they had fewer than six members at the time. They hadn’t closed yet when I left but we knew it would happen.

What He wanted was unconditional Love. I had joined/co-founded a Secular Franciscan Fraternity in 1992, was professed in 1994 into Divine Mercy Fraternity. So in 2002, I asked to return to them and I’m still a Secular Franciscan (31+ years), and I thank God daily for making me a Franciscan.

I do not say that lightly. It took me about eight years to find what Our Lord wanted of me. In some respect these years were rich years, but there were also disappointments. St. Francis tells us through his actions that we must learn to cope with disappointment, because when these disappointments are seen as a spiritual challenge, they are rich in grace and they help us.

Many a time, my mentor (Br. Craig of the Monks of Adoration, 1958-2015 approx.) told me, in so many words, that Obedience to the Father is more meritorious than anything we, ourselves undertake. No, he didn't say that precisely, but that's the lesson I learned. My discussion with him was about taking a two-hour daily walk, that he had told me to take under Monastic Obedience. I may have said something like "a penance I can give up for..." (whatever good intention); but he told me that Obeying is more meritorious than anything we do of ourselves. I think I agree with Br. Craig, and when I apply this to the situation at hand, that is, obeying our Lord, following Him by obeying the Rule of St. Francis, that is worth a lot, to Him, and through Him, for me.

My daily schedule is such that the first or second thing I do is pray. And, almost the last thing I do before going to bed is pray. And I pray in between too, but not from a book. When I see a person who looks sad, I ask Jesus to lift that person up. Apart from all that, there are few people I do not get along with, and I believe in invoking laughter and joy, because that's how I feel inside. Be a fool for Christ! Look at St. Francis, he was a glorious dreamer; he was a fool for Christ if I ever saw one. Have a happy word for everyone. It is not necessary to say a great many words but let the words you say count! Let those words reflect the joy of a Christian. It is definitely not good to lay your trouble cards on the table. People don't like that; they don't want to hear your troubles; rather, they want to talk about theirs, sometimes. Let them! They probably need a patient shoulder!

Be "Christ" to everyone, and as St. Francis helped carry Christ's wounds throughout life, be St. Francis to each and everyone you meet. Be a peacemaker! Lord, let me be patient and strong, let me be humble and make my soul like onto thine, humble and meek. Amen

Fred Schaeffer, OFS
January 9, 2025

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